Hold my Heart

ABOUT HER:

She's really something. A breath of a fresh air I'd say. She's also an encouragement in my life. I could feel my attraction to her. The way we talked at first. Soon it became a routine. I enjoyed conversing. I made her a support. Something to support me as I went through storms of my life. But though her spirituality encouraged me but I made her more than a sign pointing to God.

I wanted to find a girl like her when I grew up. I wanted to marry someone like this. She truly was one of the only girls that could make me smile and feel uplifted. But was I falling into the mistake of falling for who I THINK she is? All I knew at this point was she was a gift from God and she was definately an uplifting signpost that pointed to God.

ABOUT ME:

What should I do? Should I wait? Should I ignore my feelings; cast it away? I mean if God really had someone planned for me. And God's plans were better, I could trust them right? If God had HER planned, did that I mean I didn't have to put effort into trying to get to know her?

And the way I was going now definately wasn't the right way anyway. I was idolizing her. She made me as happy as God did, and sometimes when I was feeling down, talking to her ABOUT GOD gave me more hope than talking to God Himself.

What if we kept going this way? What if! In some strange world she reflected my feelings. Could I be able to tame my emotions? Thinking about it now. I'm definitely not ready spiritually for any type of relationship. I turn to idolatry too quickly, finding hope more in the relationship than in God.

About God:

I can't get to know God if I let something in my life become bigger. Even though it's not even anything, I make it to be in my heart and in my mind. I have to let it go and stop pursuing. I still love her as a sister and appreciate the friendship SO much. But right now I need to focus on God. I hope she will understand. :). But hey she always does.

And if something WERE meant to happen.
God won't let ANYTHING get in it's way.